There's a picture making its way through the internet sphere of Governor Jan Brewer shaking her finger angrily in the face of President Obama. Governor Brewer, the Arizona governor who authored that state's aggressive anti-immigration laws, has been at odds with the President since the law was passed, but it was this particular interaction that was caught on camera and then broadcast for all to see. NPR posted the picture with an article entitled "The Public Respects Civility but Rewards Rudeness." http://www.npr.org/2012/01/26/145910143/the-public-respects-civility-but-rewards-rudeness
As soon-to-be members of the adult world (perhaps members already!) who will be expected to interact with people you may or may not like -- and who may or may not like you! -- what do you think about the best approach to getting what you want? My grandma would frequently trot out the "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" line when I was angrily and vocally planning my next response to that person who got under my skin. And...I can see her point. But what do you think? Is there a time or place for being rude? Is being rude a dangerous choice? And how does our attitude toward civil behavior help or hurt us as a society?
As humans, we all have times that we cant get what we want. But, considering the fact that being rude is really a hit-or miss situation. Sometimes we have to have a little aggression towards a point that we are trying to make. I honestly don't think there is a time or place for being rude, but in life sometimes we all get caught up in situations where we find ourselves having to be a little rude.
ReplyDeletethe best approach to getting what you want is gaining automatic respect from the person you are speaking to. there is a lot the comes off at a first impression. For example if someone was to approach me in a rude way i will react rude. so if you want to be respected you have to respect the other person.
ReplyDeleteTo get what you want, you don't necessarily have to be rude, and in some cases being rude actually makes getting what you want more difficult. Rather, you should be assertive and energetic; not necessarily threatening, but being an imposing person by nature can help with this. In Dungeons & Dragons terms, a person with maximum strength and charisma is more likely to either charm or intimidate someone than a person with average strength and charisma, and a person with higher intelligence and wisdom may outwit someone and trick them into giving them what they want.
ReplyDelete"The salesman asks for 15 gold pieces."
Charming Bard: "I use a charisma roll to try and convince him to lower his price."
"Success! The salesman lowers his price by 10 gold pieces, and you only have to pay 5 gold pieces."
Wise Wizard: "I use my intelligence to trick him into giving it to me for free."
"Also a success; he hands you the item."
I'm torn between being impressed that you managed to integrate D&D into your answer, and being dismayed that you managed to integrate D&D into your answer.
DeleteThere is a difference between rude or disrespectful, and authoritative. Rude and disrespect get a person nowhere. People are put off by overly aggressive actions including speech and language. However, people can approach a situation in an authoritative way without being rude. Putting you finger a person’s face is rude and disrespectful. But from the Governor’s perspective, she felt she was demonstrating her authority.
ReplyDeleteWell to the first question i think the best was to get what you want is actually fighting for what you want because if you don't fight for it then that means you really didn't want it. Its depends on what you want like if you want a car then you would have to approach the situation as a adult and get some money and buy a car , you just cant get a car without paying, you have to actually pay for it because nothing is free in this world you have to work towards it. I have never heard that quote in my life so i don't know what your grandma is talking about but i do know that the best approach to a person that is getting under your skin is just walk away from the situation and if they keep on doing just tell somebody with a higher power and if that don't works just handle your self if you know what i mean. Yes there is a time and place to be rude like if you have a girlfriend and your a faithful man like me you just have to be rude to alot of other girls because thats the best way to go. i don't think being rude is a bad choice because if it is for a better good and helps out the situation then yes be rude. Point blank is if we dont come as a one then we will we fall.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, there is no place or time for being rude. Everyone deserves respect. Nothing gives us permission to treat someone poorly. Even if we are choosing to have a bad day, that is no excuse to drag someone else into our bad attitude. Being rude can be a very dangerous choice, it's easy to lose friends, jobs, and just makes you look like a mean person. You probably aren't a mean person, but one rude comment can change the way people look at you. For me, being rude takes up too much energy. I would rather be polite and leave happy.
ReplyDeleteAnd you NEVER know when it will come back to bite you. There was a member of another congregation who was once very nasty to my husband -- snippy comments about his Southern accent and the like -- and then she was assigned to work on a committee for which my husband was the chair. Not that he's the type to hold grudges, but you could tell that she felt uncomfortable.
DeleteI think being rude is something that can come out unintentionally in the moment. Some people dont nessicarily try to be rude they just arent in a decerning mood and arent thinking through their decisions. On the other hand there are people that try to be rude. I dont believe that is respectable. You wont get what you want by being rude. If anything you'll be looked down on by people for what you decided to do. I feel that there is a time and place for being rude if you chose to do so and that is never in the precence of someone authoritative or older. I dont beleive it will get you what you want. If you want something from someone the best way to do so is to make the person like the idea or see the good in it from thier perspective first. Present your opinion in a way that is respectful and if its not taken then you need to move on and deal with that. Its not your place to be rude, if you really beleive in your opinion then that person might see what you were saying later.
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ReplyDeleteBeing rude is a characteristic. Some people are nice, helpful intelligent, and some are just down right rude.Ive been alive for 18 years, and i have not yet liked a person that's rude. I find it very inconsiderate to be rude to people because its quite embarrassing.It makes people resent and fear talking to you, and theirs really nothing good that can come out of it. I understand that sometimes you disagree with people, but i also believe people are entitled to their on opinions if you disagree, do it discretely, there's no need for any Hostility.
ReplyDeleteBeing someone who has to interact with many people for a job, I've had my share of encounters with rude people, and let me tell you the nicer you are, the more you get. As long as someone is willing to disagree with you while having established a common ground of respect (no matter how ridiculous they may think your opinion is), you will absolutely be more receptive to that persons notion. I feel by being rude, you are only presenting theories and facts through ignorance.
ReplyDeleteRude, a word that not only means ignorance but also means disrespect. I feel as if when you disrespect someone you show that you have no sense of respect for others. Yes, many people do it, i have even been a person to do it as well but neither am i saying that it is right to treat someone in a certain way. When having a job, you deal with many individuals that have they day of rudeness, and i have had many customers that are rude and ignorant. When you show someone how rude you can be most likely that is how you act on a daily basis towards someone. In closing regardless, when being rude you have just shown someone how ignorant one can be
ReplyDeleteEveryone should demand respect. Being rude is just ignorant treating others how you will like to be treated is the way of life don't act upon ignorance some things just need to be ignored especially when your and a professional setting. Dealing with someone rudeness will help you gain more patience in life.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's the key -- that impression of you as ignorant will stay with people forever (I really believe this; it's so hard to overcome a negative first impression!). Particularly if you've embarrassed someone. So how come, then, some people feel so free to be rude to one another?
ReplyDeleteI believe my late post is hypocritical to my belief that proper etiquette is lost art, and the world be far better off with more gentlemen (and gentlewomen) but there seems to be no reward to be so, intact quite the opposite. You don't get noticed anymore if you're polite; loud, obnoxious, and rude are the new code. Who ever can be loud and more extreme (even though they just are saying nonsense) will get ahead. The death of chivalry and self awareness is one step down a slippery slope.
ReplyDeleteBeing rude will never be acceptable in society. If you want to get something, you should never be rude or sassy, but instead you should be more polite and show what you have to offer. A first impression is a perfect example of when not to be rude, not that you ever should be! First impressions are very crucial to the relationship that you could form with another person. If you are rude the very first time you meet someone, you will make a bad impression and they will most likely not ever want to be near you again. Being rude is most definitely frowned upon in society and it is just simply not a likable trait that unfortunately some people have.
ReplyDeleteBeing rude never works in my mind. I think if you are rude and mean other people will only treat you that way to. Its the rule that everyone was taught in 1st grade days. It is treat others the way you want to be treated. That rule really works. If you are rude and nasty to someone, people will look at you in a very bad way. Like sam said "being rude is most definitely frowned upon in society..." That is a true statement. There may be another way or expressing your feelings and the way you have concern about something in a different way with each other rather then lashing out and being straight up rude.
ReplyDeleteBeing rude is a necessary evil, we all have been rude in some way or another whether it be in one persons eye or another its mater of perspective some may have perceived me as being rude when I thought I was just expressed my point of view. i believe each one has a time and a place however my motto tends to be intelligent about my actions and reactions, i would go for the approach that would get me what i want/need "From a little spark may burst a flame."
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